1. |
Miasma
01:43
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Welcome here.
To a living fucking Hell.
Saw a finger worked to the bone
and a life of denial winding down
Heard a death knell from trucks and crates,
filling up a soundless space
Breathed in poison air sent by faceless power incarnate
And my hips and lips were frozen some twenty years ago
I don’t know how and I don’t know why
Through the wall I heard one man’s rage
We lay in bed, tight-lipped and shaky, with nothing to say
Beneath the life of the senses,
under the skins of an image
Is a deep well to drown in
While the killers who draw suffering
sleep soundly tonight
On the other side of the ocean
or where you lay your head
They’ll horde, trample along
Infecting, Suffocating, Crushing, Transfixing
Rationalized by some curious form of detachment
The coin of the dead
Song to my self and those who spit and spew
The question remains:
What are you going to do?
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2. |
Desult
01:29
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Does your ironic tongue serve to ward a certain air?
To shield against a warm breath
that blows past every now and then
Laying bare all the efforts, recall begotten pain
Or perhaps you’ve borne all you could?
Left to swallow bitter pills
with laughter pouring into the void
And if one can’t be touched, than one can’t be hurt
I am no arbiter, no judge you’ll stand before
In the end we die alone, gazing in a mirror
But when the day is done breaking
and your feet just fall into space
I would rather contain it all
than crumble with the walls I’ve built
I would rather embrace it all
than know that I turned away
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3. |
Water.Liver.Fire
02:23
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Searching for a cause or a way to trace the time
It’s in a wrinkle by the eye
or the depth beneath the lens
It’s in the space carved out by the onslaught
of things gone past
Eras descend into lines and fissures-Gone Forever
Mistakes, words stuck on the tongue, things left undone
for which there is No Atonement
The bulwark is held by a thousand fleeting lines
The flicker on the skin, the hollowed inside
presents a mirror to that space, brought forth into flesh
My body holds every instant I’ve ever drawn breath
Contained therein, the ebb and flow
Years and years with so little ground to show
Thus anchoring lines move upward and out
born from water below, fitted in and taken root
Nourished by movement, yet manifesting stillness
Though sometimes I wish to just remain still
and piece back together what I’ve moved on from
(and what’s moved on from me)
But there is no stillness with the earth circling underfoot
Such things live only in body dream memory
And this is...
Bittersweet
Nourished by movement, manifesting stillness
Just remain still.
Frozen with a memory.
But there is no stillness with the earth circling underfoot
such things die
And this is…
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4. |
Water.Liver.Fire II
02:12
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A bitter purge drains and dries blood out
left gasping, grasping as the air sinks down
And a sweet tonifier, building new blood
slowly expanding a shifting space
On and On
And Never Again
A moment flashes by
Transmuted by time into texture of skin
and it will sink
Down into a core of creation and control
inhale lifesblood, grieve and let go
To bear the child of water
the pole between joy and fear
Gathering will flows into crafting soul
And the first stirring of an unborn sun
(for within, movement can’t be undone)
Restless, for a new timeless arc
To thaw the core To Nourish the root
To succor the past To give home to hurt
Once,
Movement outside bestowed a crushing grip
Running scared to ground washing away
In the fabric of these cycles is a wisdom
To move alongside them:
Birth and Decay
For I wish to find a place of stillness within my heart
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5. |
Last Words
06:08
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Oh, what could I tell of the storm
and it’s aftermath
Born inside then lashing out
Wrenching bones
layers scraped then ripped away
Fever dreams, caved in chest
I cannot fucking breath
Flooding tears can’t quell the dust
and one has to swallow this
Turning in circles, reliving cycles
bereft and shaking
like the children we once were
A special poison, aged but still potent
to course through channels carved long ago
And we drown the ones we love
I’ve been a mirror that wouldn’t break
and a hungry ghost, wandering, ashamed
Given and taken-words could never explain
fragments twisted or lost
In the stillest place, crumbled earth
a paler skin, and lives going on
Let us lay these storms to rest for now
ensconced in a chamber of the skull
A shimmering trickle of obdurate glass
Dormant, contained, with but a few escapes
of the sting, the ache, the falling rush
Til what was blood and salt
is merely an echo of an echo
Let us forget what is gone
As the harvest preludes absence
dam the banks anyway you can
Under swimming eyes and scoured hands
the tender hope, a forlorn wish,
that somehow, the paths and bridges will hold
But outside, eternally, wilderness will grow
Scramble up the rocks
A maelstrom razed the ground
The weave will stretch and snap
every bond will break
And blood pledges turn to a forsworn truth
By shifting stars or fault or fear
By sorrow or pain or desert air
Aloft, the threads, the lonely wind
the swell of time, the scattering sand
Hollow, drifting, my fingers swept a notch
(the softened lines, a gentle breath,
of slumber gazed)
bore a heat and beauty that filled me whole
And in quite moment of the nights
I was expanse and light, water and stone
Thus are carried filaments of bone:
Swirling, windswept; trembled, nearly hewn
While the flakes and the ruins float gently away
currents will shape them to return someday
As a fullness precluding absence and space
The contours of time, never erased
….
…..
…..
…..
You are branded onto my heart
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6. |
Sundry
02:25
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The doorway between was shattered, then barred
Unspeakable.
Alone.
Sundered into flesh and soul
I beheld eyes glazed and still and muscles running from the bone
Unspeakable.
And you came back crushed
(though now, not always alone)
left to sift through rubble and blood
and the fear that it could happen again
Then it happened again
Tonight I’m filled with visions:
First, a towering rage
Slaughter the fucking scum
make them feel Pain
Next is an emptiness
but for the low-slung moon
shining red through clouds of suffering
on desolate, cold graves
Rain will fall, not bearing the flood that cleanses
but with a fulsome ache seeping through pores
Bewildered and Senseless
This World is Hell
Forced to have a terrible strength just to survive
But it’s a strength that can tear one apart
Hold, and breathe out shaking;
I’ll kiss salt from your face
I would do fucking anything if it could somehow erase
A pain that haunts and quakes, silences and breaks
But history is thus-burned into our bones
No escaping what’s been built and broken down
There are layers wrought I can never understand
But if you’ve been gone a long time,
building new space between
Know that somewhere, somewhere,
there is a safe resting place
For I’ve seen soul twisting in the wind
scattering clouds promising embodiment
And one still point, tensioned between
Inviolate.
Churning earth, window to the flesh
untouched by violence
Above and below
Space made to mend
Pulled back inside
May it never close again.
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7. |
To the Lighthouse
01:53
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And, what was even more exciting, she felt, too,
as she saw Mr Ramsay bearing down and retreating,
and Mrs Ramsay sitting with James in the window
and the cloud moving and the tree bending,
how life,
from being made up of little separate incidents
which one lived one by one,
became curled and whole like a wave
which bore one up with it
and threw one down with it,
there, with a dash on the beach.
—Virginia Woolf
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8. |
Allotment
02:30
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Whispers held, a burden of flesh
The voice so loud, cleaved like the rest
Once-Inflamed, heat of the sky
Infused, held through and through
soil and air, the bloom and the fall
The eyes of our others
and songs for them all
Piecemeal obstruction, absconding vision
Static and shimmer, nowhere to listen
Now-kin inflamed, to the core of the earth
Resistance, through and through
Not ours to claim, for we have no others
And our songs-we’ve lost them all
For some with scarred arms, burning hate
years in a vacuum, insides waylaid
Comes the gentlest touch, the blood of our blood
Distilled by the wreckage
Quiescent and Fierce at once
So we sing a shade of a world we once knew
The breath from our lips are pieces of you
And you breathe a part of me
Bonded not tethered-distant or near
The bones of our bones to the end of the earth
Stitched held together in a matrix above
But air from shore to shore only carries so much
In the absence of landfall can it ever be enough?
To build our homes on the edge of a never ending scar
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9. |
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What poisoned shroud fell tonight
on a valley filled with thirst?
It stings the eyes and
in the coolness of the night I’ll shiver
With the blade and the cup and limbs not my own
Tendrils dip, to ascend as so much smoke
Carrying the gaze to the hills at the edge of vision;
stay with me here to witness a collision
Hearken now to the sounds of hooves landing
they echo off the wheel, though few remain standing
Now come back, see the long night through
murky and scabrous, feel the weight turn
And pick your
Heartbreak
Shed water, vapor to carry sight
On stratum and sclera only musk and salt remain
blended with soil underfoot
Exhale, sink down, in silence
To see through a vision not my own
Familiar yet unclear, the skin on these bones
The tales of a rupture, the wind enclosed
Unfurl the skein of perception and eyes turn to blood
In knowing In tasting In feeling…
Absence…And the cold
Silence…And the bones
The haunted and hunted, the fear of what will come
In lands transformed to barren shells
remnants of what was wild and free
stand as an avatar to those who keen
For loss upon loss, air that touches no tree
Lonesome cries falling heavy in the night
Nothing to answer save the roar of machines…
Our vacuous carapace--what’s below will never be seen
Obscured: trading devastation for protection
a quiet fealty to domination,
the fearful, unsaid pledge
which brooks no opposition
Twilight fell on a sharpened earth
And with it came whispers of burning, of birth
(Beginnings and ending, an overflowing thirst)
Through the haze of the night, eyes still search
And find a distant outline of smoke made flesh
What’s left of my body whispers to me:
Someday we will die so that others may be free
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